Monday, April 29, 2013

17. Medication........................a boon


17. Medication………….. a boon .
            The other day one of my friend inquired “why our test cricket players need to see a psychiatrist as a performance enhancing measure?”
“It is a good practice to know ones stress level and take corrective measures against it” I replied  half heartily.
“But” he continued,” why then people do not see a psychiatrist that easily.”
“There are very less trained psychiatrist in India, and people do not take this as a routine check up” I tried to convince him.
It is true, that we,as society do not accept a date with a psychiatrist, forget about taking the prescribed medicine. Our brain, as other body parts, needs some medicine some time. It is okay to take Prescribed medicine by a recognized doctor.
In a monthly meeting of our Non Government Organization, which I used to attend, the family members complained of their relatives not taking prescribed medicine. It is quit surprising that, a diabetic patient takes insulin injection regularly, often himself, a heart patient or a blood pressure patient takes his dose of medicine regularly but a man if prescribed certain medicine by a psychiatrist do not take it.
It is possibly because the social stigma attached to it or a strong suppressed anger towards the medicine that makes him avoid it.
What is the solution to such social problem?
All that has been mentioned in this little book will not work in extreme cases of mood swing also known as clinical depression. when it is quit necessary to opt for additional support of medicine. After a certain level of understanding is achieved any body can pick up various methods mentioned here in.
        One of the lady clients was first assured that, she need not take medicine. She was advised to keep the medicine it the mandir(place of worship) inside  her house. What she has to do is to  pray the God by lighting Diya, candle light once in a day. While doing so, and pray the God by lighting Diya, candle light once in a day. While doing so, and while praying the suppressed anger towards the medicine was greatly reduced. A prayer and anger both can not occur at time. Though this is not a proven technique it has worked in some cases.
The main idea here is to reduce the anger and rejection attitude in a client with more serene emotions with the help of gratitude towards god and surrender to God. One of the clients has given the medicine the label of ‘Dhanvantari – God of medicine- from whom he used to get ‘Amrit’ (nectar) when he prayed with folded hands & wet eyes.
It is amazing! How one can change the hatred in to worship.
Few of the clients are worried abut the side effects of medicine. Let first the effect be noticed forget about side effects, if any. Are we are worried about staying in metropolis city like Mumbai?  How many side (bad) effects it has on us? Are we worried about doing our morning walk in polluted city like Mumbai? Why? We ware more concerned about the effect which is more than ninety percent – and not the side effect which is hardly five percent to ten percent.
Know that, in certain cases, medication is a boon….. and absolute necessity. I shall give general guide line for you and family members regarding the time when one should seek professional help.
1. Loss of sleep 2. loss of appetite 3. loss of libido 4. loss of interest & enthusiasm 4. Pondering over same issues, often thousand times in a day. 5. Social withdrawal 6. loss of concentration 7. Feeling of emptiness and worthlessness 8. feeling of excessive guilt or self pity 9. Rackless thoughts…….. Including that of suicide.
If these/any one symptoms persist for more than two three days it is indication of you requiring a professional help including medicine.
Family members are also advised to note these Symptoms & act immediately.
Seek professional help.............take prescribed medicine....a boon.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

16 Observe silence........select some time


16. Observe Silence:
            Speaking in itself takes away lots of energy out of your body. If you are sick, you will notice that, speaking requires effort. This I am talking about simple conversation. Imagine, what will happen if you shout and yell at full throat. Besides physical energy, a lot of emotional drain is observed if you yell at some one. If you yell at loved ones it is still worse emotional drain.
Silence is one of the most potent tool that can be used very often against this energy drain. Observing silence is, though it appears, is not simple. Nevertheless, it can be developed slowly over a period of time.
At initial stage, you can start it by observing half an hour silence at your home. This will test your capacity to control your emotion and thoughts. It can slowly be increased up to there hours to six hours at a stretch.
The benefit as I have noticed are numerous. Firstly, you are sure, you don’t have to speak, shout or yell at anybody, no matter what happens, or no matter how the situation is provocative. This in itself is a major gain in keeping silence.
Secondly, you don’t have to prove yourself right to others or you don’t have to prove others wrong for that matter. You will not be speaking ill of anybody during this period.
Thirdly, you know that, you do not have to instruct any body, you do not have to ask any body to do your job. Not even to your spouse or son/daughter. Hence, no question of disobeying your order comes in picture.
Fourthly, you can do your job with high concentration and creativity. Time and emotional energy thus saved can be utilized in uplifting your moods and morals.
Observe silence …. Select a day in week……….. select few hours in a day.

Friday, April 26, 2013

15. Attach positive feeling to each negative one.......feel better


      15. Attach positive feeling to each negative one.
By now you are aware of the trigger, that bothers you off and on. It is quite evident that, you can not escape negative feelings when a trigger is hit upon by you or by any one else, or even by the circumstances. Thinking that you have no strong will power to control the emotion will not work. A forceful control of the trigger will play havoc with your emotional health, and ultimately you will fail in the attempt. Taking advice of any one may put you further down, as they may not understand the basics of your problem. “Think positive” “Drop your worries” are the general advice given by others which hardly works when a trigger strikes.
Have you ever come across a well built adult who is afraid or a cockroach or a lizard? Can you find any logic in this? What makes them believe that a cockroach is dangerous or even harmful? This is his trigger which he has strengthened over the years.
What we feel is where our thought process stops and sticks. If somebody has been dishonest to me and made me suffer a huge loss, I have strong negative feeling, which gets strengthen each time I remember him. Unfortunately I remember him nearly hundred times in a day and literally brood over the issue. How am I to escape this trigger trap?
There is a way out. Without evaluating the trigger’s logic. Simply know that, this is a trigger. Now connect this trigger to a positive thought or positive emotion immediately. The idea is not to stick to the negative trigger and its emotions but to move over quickly to the positive one. Remember you can not avoid negative feeling once a trigger has been hit upon, but you can extend it to a positive feeling after diligent practice. The quicker you can switch over to a positive image more is the relief.
Take one example as mentioned above. If I have a strong negative feeling with person who has made me suffer a huge loss, what I should do. Suppose that person Mr. X is coming from the opposite side of the road & your heart beat increases. You feel strong anger and resentment to the extent the you want to beat him up then an there. What you need to do is to take a deep breath, close you eyes for a moment and remember an incidence where your spouse comes smiling from the opposite side and then walk along with you, hand in hand. Repeated attempts will slowly sooth you nerves over the issue. You will remember your smiling spouse every time you see Mr. X or even think about Mr. X.
Years before I was very sensitive to my health. A small inconvenience, a cold my make me unhappy emotionally, though there was no major physical problem. It took nearly six month to attach ‘Yoga and heath’ feeling to these unwanted feeling.
This is the most practical method to feel comfortable despite our turbulent feeling.
Attach positive feeling to each negative feeling quickly and repeatedly ....and fell better

Thursday, April 25, 2013

14. Develop Gratitude.......and feel bliss


14. Develop Gratitude.
            My fist intense experience with gratitude came a couple of years ago. A teenager boy in my neighborhood, after giving his secondary school examination went for a picnic at sea shore. Next message received was all four friends had been drowned at sea coast. I had attended the funeral and last rights. I still remember vividly the moment when the body was let in to the heated electrical crematorium. The flame was so hot that the body, hair clothes caught fire before it entered completely inside, as if it was waiting for the boy to come in.
This moment has led me to a series of question throughout  the day. What is life? What is an end of life? What we should strive to achieve before this inevitable end? Are king of kings exempted from death? Why not? There was no end to such questions. The beauty of these questions was, answers  were known. In fact, ever body knows the answer; however, it was the first day when I felt the difference between knowing the answer and feeling the answer.
Why not than live happily to day? What makes me unhappy, any way? A thought? Some fear? scarcity? an ill health? What? Why do we get irritated with behavior of others? Do we want them to behave  in a certain way? Why? Why I can not accept low grades in school results of my son? Is my love conditional?
Single answer to all such questions is true gratitude towards God. Thank God for what he has given today. Work for better tomorrow, but do not get unhappy with what you have today.
 Do one thing from today.everyday, Keep a note book and write at least five good things God have given you so far. Never mind you repeat the same. Write down each day five good things in your life.The magic of everyday gratitude will flow every where.
First thing in the morning you should do is ,Thank God for he has given you one more day to work for others
This could be your last chance to know Gratitude.
Develop gratitude.
            

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

13. know the physical symptoms............keep away


. Know the physical symptoms…….keep away
            By now you have noticed that, a mood swings brings along with it physical symptoms. Never think that, a bad mood is just a bad mood. In fact, stress itself is designed by nature to bring bodily changes in human being. A moderate stress induces energy and concentration in you. However if it exceeds and does not fade away in couple of days, it may drain your energy.
            When a stone age man faced an animal, say a tiger, what was required for him, was instant energy. A surge of glucose in blood, sharp eyes and ears, tight muscles, ready to run or fright these are the symptom of moderate stress level or say good stress. This is known as ‘fright or freight’ syndrome. Nevertheless, if you face stress looking at your boss, you can neither fight nor runaway. Thus, the stress increases in your body making you week. It is like putting your security guards on high alert 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year and years together. Imagine, what a great tall it can take.
Everyone develops his own physical symptoms. Tight mussels, headache, body ache, loss of appetite, insomnia high blood pressure, ulcers etc. are the general symptoms of high stress lever. However, these are some immediate indication which you must learn before these symptoms go out of control.
You have your own set of feelings when a certain issue occurs. like initial emotion of anxiety and strong anger which persists over after half an hour, which keep on increasing the more you think over it. Such triggers are very small, comparatively, but those will make you uneasy for the complete day.
Suppose you have become sensitive after the death of your close relative in an accident. Now while traveling, if you happen to see an accident on road side, you immediately remember the incidence in which you have lost your close relative.
After a white if you can put aside the thought and emotion and proceed further. Everything is fine. However, if such emotions persist, you immediately get the physical symptoms of your stress; you feel uneasy, sad and start feeling headache within first half an hour. Know it for sure that, this is your trigger and it has triggered the physical symptoms. Just be aware of your trigger and keep away for the time being from them till you desensitize yourself to such triggers.
When a single thought disturbs you day in and out, when it is the first and last thought of the day and when it again comes in middle of night as you loose the sleep, know it for sure that this is a clear symptoms of depression. Don’t panic, get courage and visit your family doctor, who in turn will direct you to a psychiatrist.
When you visit your family doctor don’t give vague symptoms like loss of energy, loss of appetite etc. the main symptom is loss of sleep in early hours and pondering over the same issue, thought again and again. Know it for sure that there is no fault of yourself and that; you can forgive yourself for any of your fault.
Know your symptoms early, consult doctor and keep faith.
The main idea is to understand your triggers the on set of physical symptom and art of keeping away from it before they explode and blow your mood apart.
Be aware of such physical symptoms and keep away.


Monday, April 22, 2013

A Gifted Toy....Book for coping with Depression available

hi
  Just to make readers aware ,my book, .A Gifted Toy.. is available on demand from

www.pothi.com

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/amit-dave-gifted-toy


Amit

12. surrender...... re surrender...your panacea


12. Surrender… re surrender a  panacea
            This is single strategy, which is capable of lifting you from rock bottom. Once you hit the bottom it is quite likely that by the grace of good and by virtue of your total surrender you can make it to the top. Surrender is a strongest magnet that can pull you out from any depth. Once you understand and feel the power of surrender you will not go back again.
Imagine rod fitted with a metallic ring in it. The ring is allowed to move between two stoppers upper and lower. These two stoppers represent lower and upper mental status of the human being. The ring (soul) is allowed to move between two mental stages (upper and lower). Generally lower stopper does not allow the ring (soul) to go down beyond specified limits. Due to some unlucky events the lower stopper breaks and the soul plunges in darkness – a vertical fall-a deep fall, is characteristic of depression – rather clinical depression. This vertical rod is your life and the ring is your soul. The freedom is generally restricted by the two stoppers. A man generally behaves between these two patterns. Once, due to gravity, or impact, if the lower stopper is broken the ring goes deep down and it experiences a vertical fall. Now only a powerful magnet can lift this ring up from the bottom. This powerful magnet is almighty and the process by which it can be brought to upper end is surrender-total surrender. When this powerful magnet is requested to act on your behalf it lifts the ring with a great force, breaking the upper stopper and ring goes straight to the magnet.
Surrender in a loose term is known by you as going to the place of worship and pray. Yes, this is the first step in surrender. Nevertheless, complete surrender is far more powerful and soothing then this. When you close your eyes in front of your God you feel completely under his control. You have practically no power even to breath or stand. You feel all power are vested in him and he give some of his power to you. You cease to be a doer of your job rather any job.
How do you know  you have a casual visit  to the temple or a total surrender. Following are sme of the criteria which defines your surrender.
1)                           In total surrender ,you loose your identity  You are no more you , a boss ,a husband ,a wife a student and so on.
2)                           No thought other then seeing his mighty power and his illuminated face  occurs to you.
3)                            You find yourself completely safe in front of him and that you feel his omnipotent power and also know that he is full of compassion.
4)                           You feel that he is capable of solving your problem in seconds, alone and that he is so kind that he will do it for you,or at least show you the way out as well as courage to do it.
5)                           Your request is so humble that your eyes get wet or even you cry profusely the moment you stand in front of him with closed eyes and folded hands.
Please do not think that how a strong man like me can ever cry? This is the purification process. Such total surrender will come only after full faith and repeated attempts.
 Surrender should not be misunderstood with cowardice. A coward can not be a devottee.Please try to understand the difference between other feelings like respect, trust, obey. The only other equivalent feeling is unconditional love
Though God has no shape and size or color total surrender may require some of these attributes . Unless our mind can  specify certain thing, it can not perceive it. So you may need a color and texture of god, Allah, or Jesus.
 However you need to know the difference between surrender and worthlessness. Both are not the same. Worthlessness gives you unbearable emotional pain whereas surrender gives you bliss. Surrender is is a top ranked human emotion like pure love and devotion. It is like trance and is pure and all cleansing emotion.
  The true proof of surrender is ,check after a session of surrender how do you feel.If it is like lifting tons of load from your head,it is true surrender
Surrender –re surrender ,it is your panacea.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

11. Do not take major decisions .............at least now


11. Do not take major decision………… at least now.
            “We will have to overhaul our machine, before we start our major production process” declared my foreman, one day in our workshop. “Why, what is wrong with the machine, it is working.”
“Sir, he explained” I only know how it is working. It will not pass the trough trial of there weeks at a stretch.”
Suddenly, it dawned on to me, how come we are not aware of over body, mechanism and emotions. Without knowing its true potential some time we indulge in a heavy job and get upset.
By now you must be aware that, the basic problem lies inside and not outside. It is your vision and perception which has been magnified and distorted.
Once the vision has been distorted by impurities, it is advisable to clear the impurities first. A series of mood swing may prompt you to do something extra ordinary and wipe out it once for all. This may prompt you to take major decision and changes so as to feel good from inside. The only purpose of such decision is to feel comfortable with yourself. Know this trap and avoid it.
With such a vision. it is not advisable to take any major decision of your life. Generally you believe or rather anticipate that, you could feel happy, secure,safe as well as competent after you make such major shifts. It may prompt you to change your job. career, house or even spouse. Hold on; don’t indulge in any drastic decisions right now.
You are the best judge of your vision. How do you test your new spectacles? Look at the test board, in the mirror outside the window and at the ceiling. If you find all view are distorted, there is something wrong with your specks. Look every where. If you are finding problem everywhere, in office, at home, with your friend, with yourself. stop here. If your have sleepless night and tired moorings, lower mood and less concentration, stop, do not initiate any major tasks as of now.Just keep on doing low profile,routine works.
Such hasty decision my spiral you life and career. Alcohol, smoking and drugs are some of the trap which appears to give you relief from your mood swings. Be cautious of such traps. Do not multiply your problems by taking Alcohol, drugs or smoking the cigarettes.
The best choice is to take advice of a trusted friend or your spouse, when you feel the vision has been distorted.. Ask some one to read for you, if you are not having correct glasses.
Correct the glasses first, look and act.
Don’t take major decision….. at least now.

Friday, April 19, 2013

10.maintain a Diary


. Maintain a diary ……………sooth your nerves:
            The other day my son asked me, “Papa, why do we remember more when we write rather that simply read.” “Find out your own answer” I replied casually. After a few minutes he said “oh, I know because we use, greater part of our brain while writing so we remember more.” Though the answer is partially correct it led me to think how if we use greater part of our neurons, that too charged with emotions. The idea of writing down your thoughts and emotion in the form of a diary will help you soothe your nerves.
            If you are emotionally upset and try to find any reason just by thinking process, it will not work. Thinking is such a fast process, that is very tough to control. The difference between thinking and writing is like difference between an atom bombs and a nuclear reactor. The process & reaction in atom bomb can not be controlled once it has started, where as a nuclear reactor gives out heat & power as per our requirement and in controlled fashion.
            There are some basic rules in writing down a diary/notes or letters.
  1. An out burst of emotion in the initial stage.
  2. Logic in the middle.
  3. Positive note at the end.
Remember your mood depends on the end of you thought process, where you ultimately reach and stick while thinking. If you have a habit of sticking to negative thought after almost all thought processes, you need to correct it by frequently writing such diary or letter & notes.
Now take up an example.
            Your spouse has yelled at you in presence of  guests and you are very much upset over his /her behavior.
Write a note/diary like this.
a.       My spouse…………….. have made very wrong thing by shouting at me in presence of guest. I am very unhappy and upset over his / her behavior. I do not know how I can handle these emotions. This is very disgusting…….etc.
b.      I know he/she has made a wrong thing; however, he/she also gets tired due to days hard work. Besides he/she works overtime & gets more tired. In such circumstance some small reason might have exploded him/her. Such occasions are very rare in our life. It may not be his/her fault altogether. May be situation is to be blamed……………
c.       Yesterday he/she has spent three hours cleaning the house and doring some other household chores. He/she is loving and charming almost all the time. I think I must forgive him/her. In fact he/she is very valuable person in my life. I love him/her. Thank you for your love.
If you are unhappy with yourself, your health, the circumstances in general, you can address such note to yourself/ your GURU/ your role hero for your emotional recovery.
Write diary and soothe your nerves.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

9. Understand the time trap..........keep cards


Understand the time trap …………keep cards
            Time and again you must have noticed that, there is a specific time in a day when you feel mood swings without any provocation or without any reason. Generally junction of day and night is notice as a phase during which you feel yourself down, without any justified reason.
            No body knows why at such particular time such mood swings are notice. Scientist link these mood swing to sunlight & even try to treat some of these, by an artificial light beam.
            The reason as for as I undaunted is that it depends upon person to person and his attitudes. Those who are very anxious and doubtful about their day and their wok ahead feel bad mood in the morning and those who have perfectionism or having ego. Many feel bad in the evening, thinking their poor performance in the day that has gone. This becomes so automatic, that you may not be aware of a single thought and its expanded version before you loose your mood. Nevertheless, each mood swing must accompany a thought, a negative thought its’ implication out of our imagination, like anger or helplessness to correct the situation and on and on. Such behavior ultimately leads to bed mood in minutes.
            A typical bad mood in the morning starts like this. “To day is board meeting and I have to give presentation” our mind starts searching for the work as soon as it wakes up. Thought of inadequacy my immediately lead you to think “whether or not I will be able to handle the situation.”
            “What will happen if I fail?” “I could be fired” and you visualize yourself being fired & searching for another job. This whole process completes within thirty seconds and rest of the morning is lost in bad mood. This further multiply your problem, making you less confident.
           For those feeling bad in evening, it could be analysis of their work. “To day I made a silly mistake in my work. How can I do this? What my boss will think abut my ability to do work and doom, bad moods.
            Imagine a strong magnet and a small ball of iron, trying to pass by it without being attracted and associated with it. It is not possible. Your mind has first decided to let you down, it them try to search for the reason, which it founds in seconds. Everyday you could have separate and very small causes to feel bad on specific time.
            Know this time trap. You need to understand your own time trap and be aware of the situation during that time. Every time you find yourself being dragged in to the time trap, write down the problem on a small card and put it in your pocket. Convince yourself to solve this problem later in the day but not now. Touch this card frequently, making yourself sure that you are aware of the problem, but you do not  want to solve it right no. Let you thought of “I could be fired” “ or “To day is the board meeting” remains on paper till afternoon. Take out the card after you finish you presentation and laugh loudly on your morning thoughts.
Postpone you spiral of toughs time being keep card.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

8. Avoid meditation...... at least for now


. Don’t meditate ……………for now
            This again is not in line with normal stress management techniques. Meditation in itself is very good for soothing your frayed nerves and soul. The more you practice, the more it shows the results.
            However, here, I am talking for the people who are very much agitated from inside. Such people, if they sit closing their eyes, the speeding thoughts and disturbing emotions will overpower them, within minutes. Ultimately either they have to give up their meditation within first five minutes or they will feel worse after a fifteen minutes session of meditation.
            Such, experiences, will ultimately make a person believe that, meditation is not possible for a normal person. They may again feel inferior to others, for that, the only remedy for their mood swings is not practicable by them. This again is not the truth.
            The main idea here are to purify your thoughts and pacify your emotions by other methods, mentioned in this book, for at least a couple of months. The more you practice the various other dynamic methods, the more internal purification will be noticed. Once you have achieved this state, you will not get agitated the moment you sit in the corner, cross legged with your eyes closed.
            Meditation is very good in itself, for those who has stress under control. It is like double edged sword which destroys your monster in both directions forward as well as backward provided you know how to operate it.
So cool down. The golden idea, for the time being, is to adopt various other methods and reach the level, from where you can pick up meditation in its true sense.
Postpone meditation for now.

Monday, April 15, 2013

7. Yogasana-Best antidote for Depression


Yoga and Straching – a helping hand
/:yogah chitta vritti nirodh:/
Controlling the flickering mind is Yoga.
            Yoga, as it is normally understood in yogasanas which is one of the part out of eight fold yoga. Nevertheless this single part is enough for you to maintain calmness of mind. If you use yogasanas with various other breathing techniques it works wonders.
            The benefits of yogasana are not new thing for science. It is already proved that, for all chronic health problems, regular, stretching exercise is best.
            Regular mood swings are indeed a chronic problem. These can be eased out by regular practice of yogasana, what you need is a good institute, an experienced teacher and a will to continue.
            There are lots of (literature and Audi video cassettes available for this. However unless you are committed it will not help you.
            Suffice it is to say here that, a regular Yogasana session is an important tool for you to fight with your inner monster.
            It is highly recommended that, the yougasana should be learned at a reputed Yoga institute & under the guidance of professional trainers and doctors. Besides during a Yogasana session in a group is itself therapeutic.
            I shall not elaborate on the  usefulness of straching exercise for your mood swing problem. However, there is lot of practical Vedio Cassettes are available in the market or over the internet. It would be very effective if you first go for a long walk and then practice Yogaasana for half and hour.
Use the Trusted tool. Do Yogasana.

6. Faith.faith and lots of faith


. Faith, faith and lots of faith.
            “Faith is a bird which feels the light and sings, even when the dawn is still dark.” (R. Tagore)
            This is the exact definition of faith given be R. Tagore. This is the single virtue which can make you pull on in spite of all adversities. Faith is an abstract thing. If you develop this virtue it will make you life comfortable. Faith in almighty, faith in GURU, God, Jesus, Christ, Allah Whatever you believe whole heartedly will work wonder.
            This is no superstition; please don’t misunderstand it with rubbish  by an illiterate man . Recent study has shown that, those who attend temple, church frequently have lover stress & stress related ailments.
            Faith does not depend on your present status it does not ask for any proof, it does not diminish with time. It is unshakable, you don’t loose it even if you loose everything. Faith in any person or individual may not wok here. Faith in almightily/God is absolutely necessary. Know it for sure that the Sun can not give you darkness.
            The question now left is how to develop such unshakable faith in almighty. Asking someone to develop faith is quit easy, but to develop an unshakable faith in yourself is not an easy task. When a small child narrate his problem to his father or mother he is sure that the father or mother has answer to his problems. He then leaves all the problems to his Father/mother. Same mental attitude is required to develop the strong faith. When you seek higher powers help with full faith that, nothing is impossible for him you feel calmer.
            There are two ways of increasing the faith in higher power. Like all virtues repartition is one way of increasing the faith. If you name this higher power say Ram, Buddha, Jesus, and Allah. It would be easy for you to accept his power. A daily does of faith in his awesome power will slowly boost you faith in him.
            The other way is to select a role model who has achieved complete faith in God. Remaining in constant emotional touch with your role model will enhance your faith in God. He could be your GURU also.
            Faith should not be misunderstood as blind faith. Faith in any person is not recommended. Draw a line between trust and faith. Trust could be in the human being but faith should only be in almighty.
            A word of caution, please do not go for instant GURU in a haste. It is advisable that Guru should not be any living person on earth. The issue of cheating by so called Guru should be avoided at all cost.
Develop faith …………..lots of faith.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

5. Keep Moving......loose inertia


. Keep moving …………..loose inertia
            One of the worst place for your emotion to set in spiral is your rocking chair. Whenever you sit on your easy chair in a pensive mood, it drags you, in minutes to sadness. This statement is not correct for all the persons. However, if you have a tendency of mood swing you will agree with it.
            The ‘keep moving’ idea is simply a time schedule which include your work, daily chores, exercise and entertainment. This however, will not include sitting idle doing nothing for more than half an hour.
            One of the best mood lifters is an exercise. Make it a habit to go for a long walk 30 to 45 minutes daily. All medical books and research will vouch for it. We are not hare to discuss the anatomy of how it works  Just do it.   Better results will be noticed if you take a walk man Mp 3 player with you, listening to your favorite music.
            Maintaining daily routine, in midst of emotional set back will slowly lift your mood. It is highly essential that, you continue your daily job, business and work, at a slower pace, without discontinuing and activity. The main idea is to ‘Keep moving’ don’t gather inertia at any cost. Know it for sure that, those who move, even slowly, reach the destination sooner or later.
            The problem however, is for those who are not working. For such people working means helping others. Please don’t try to search for a job on urgent basis. This may further disappoint you. All that you need to do is help children do their school homework, help elderly person in  their shopping. Find a worthy cause and work that may not give you any remuneration. You should Join gymnasium  and yoga classes for at least two hours a day. Join a library for two hours a day.
            It may be possible that, some people find it very difficult to come out of their bed in the mornings. People who have lost hope, of future or those who have nothing to do after coming out of bed may be reluctant  to start a day itself.. More so some are terrified by the thought of facing their own wayward thoughts.
            Come, here is hope for you, Keep moving, even if it pains initially. Go straight for the walk from bed. Take a pat dog along; take a MP-3 players along and move......yes move first.
Keep moving.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

4. Make serenity your Goal-only goal


Make Serenity your goal – only goal.
            This idea is in all probably, away form the management technique. A good leader or a successful professional should set his goal high, normally physical goals like so much money, so many industries……….so much powers etc.
            What I am suggesting here is specially designed for the people whose mood and emotions do not allow them to rest properly not even during night hours. In such circumstances yourr goal rather only goal should be serenity and bliss.
            In fact, all your efforts and goals are ultimately intended to get joy and serenity in life.
            Shading the anxiety, fear and stress in itself is in itself a goal. Write down your goal as “Bliss at all cost at all time.” Everywhere you look at, on your mirror, on your working table, calendar, and diary. Read this goal nearly hundred times in a day. If you really mean it, slowly but certainly your approach towards the problems and moods will shift. When you say – and men it – “bliss at all cost at all time” it is a top priority for you. Remind again and again, of this goal, to yourself, write down this goal in your dairy a dozen of times in a day.
            When I suggest you this, you may find this as an absurd idea. How reading and verifying of a goal like “bliss” will lead you to bliss. For Gods sake don’t doubt this. Just mean it and do it.
            To strengthen the idea of your goal “bliss.” Take up a character whom you think a perfect symbol of bliss in all adversity. Read everything about your hero. All the literature you lay your hands on. Let it sink in to your subconscious mind.
            Remember all other material goals are of no value if you are not at ease with yourself, not happy and serene at heart. This technique may require considerable time to show you the results but it certainly works.
            Make serenity your goal ………….. only goal.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

3. Ask Why not me?


1.     Ask why not me:
This idea of “Why not me” was reveled to me by a young boy. This boy, very intelligent in his study was not selected for a scholarship. He came to me, with his head down and said, “I am not selected.”
“So what?” I explained there are one hundred and twenty students in your batch. Why not others?
Suddenly. I realized how easy it was for me, to advice this boy. In one of my illness I was always unhappy about “Why me, O lord” Slowly it dawned on to me that, the question “why not me?” has a deeper meaning than it appears.
Any set back, physical, emotional, financial or career problems, family problems, demise of a loved one, you name it, can be eased by asking “why not me”, There are hundred thousand people around you. It has to happen to any body. It could be me, you or anybody else. It is just a matter of chance, that you were short listed for this purpose.
I am not saying here, that you should take everything lying down, without any diligent  fight. Work, fight and remember the question “why not me?”
It is not as easy as it appears to accept the full meaning of this question. Nevertheless, with full understanding and repeatedly asking the question “why not me” will ultimately ease out the intensity of your emotion about any event.
            Trust me, it is a unique experience in this journey.
Ask why not me? ……………and ease the intensity of the emotions.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Gifted Toy-Just be aware and accept the situation as A Gifted Toy


1.     Gifted Toy:
This is the first step in changing your mood pattern. Moods are more or less automatic dependent upon  your environment, biological condition and of course your attitude. Moods are like swings, this moment they are on this side the next moment on other side.
            Fighting the bad moods and bad thoughts will worsen the situation. These are ‘n’ number of thoughts you may experience in a day. The problem starts when you stick to the negative one. The more you try to control, the more it will bounce back. If you have developed the habit of negative or bad mood, your mind will search for one, find it out in seconds and then will stick to it. It is like a strong magnet attaching small pieces of iron and than holding it indefinitely.
            Once a disciple asked his guru, “Guruji I want to realize God, how can I achieve that?” “Sit down in a corner, close your eyes & think of God. Remember, you should not think of a black dog while you do this” After few hours the disciple comes to Guru exhausted and said, “It is impossible not to remember black dog, Guruji.”
            “I knew that, now let any thought come and go, you just watch it.” This is the correct way you can handle your bad moods. Let those bad moods come and go. You be there & be aware.
            I know a man, who has several disease as per diagnosis by the doctor. he was very much upset by the way he had to live. These are lot of restrictions and lot of medication, suggested by the doctor for him. I have seen him very unhappy for days together. One fine morning he came smiling. On asking he reveled, “I have accepted my health and life as they are. I have no complaints.”
            Know it for sure that, this is a gifted toy specially given to you by the almighty to play with and learn something from the life events. Also be aware that, all that negative appears correct today, is not the true picture. It is like coloured glass you are wearing, which gives coloured pictures. If you can not stop the negative thought & feeling today, just be aware & pray to God to lead the way.
            Just be aware, pray and accept this situation as “Gifted Toy”

Sunday, April 7, 2013

1) Introduction to Book on Depression-A Gifted Toy


                                               1.Introduction

In today’s world there are lot of stresses. People need to perform to their peak and are always on their toes. Lot of people has a brush with death, an encounter with a failure, people has been cheated by close relatives, deserted by spouses or unhappy over ill health of their relatives so many have lost their jobs in the recession.
            These extreme stresses develop lot of problems including psychosomatic diseases  and psychological problems. Few of them have to resort to various medicine to control their anxiety and mood. Though, this book is not a substitute to any such expert’s opinion, it will definitely work hand in hand with al other remedies.
            There are lots of books on self help available in the market. Never the less “Take it easy” “Think positive” “Don’t give up.” Such advice do not work when emotion run rampage. No amount of wisdom or will power will reuse you out of an anger or anxiety attack, once it has set in.
            This book is an attempt to make reader aware of the original problem and to resort to some practical solutions for their emotional problems. This book will not make you a leader, an executive or a top politician. The main idea is to make reader aware and comfortable with his bunch of feeling. It is a humble attempt to make reader feel good. Most of the time, while performing his normal day to day activities.
            As the reader  incorporates, the ideas on regular basis, slowly but certainly the approach toward feelings will improve. Awareness of feelings and controlled set of moods are the ultimate goal of this book.
            This would be a worthwhile attempt if any on reader, you, can get awareness of the feelings and manage to feel good through out the day.
            The gifted toy (tame the monster inside you) is a poem, which narrates a tale of a person-you-me, suddenly Struck by the mood swings. In other ward a person in depression and in some cases a clinical depression.
                        A clinical depression is defined as loss of hope, loss of interest, loss of appetite, loss of energy, loss of sleep, loss of concentration in all day to day activities, that persist more than few of days. All unhealthy emotions like worthlessness, quilt, remorse, self pity, pity on others are part of this monster-known as clinical Depression.
            It is absolutely necessary to take expert advice, professional help and medicine in extreme cases. Please ………… please do not avoid seeking expert’s views or medicine if required
            Following major steps are involved in your recovery & be aware.
  1. Accept be aware that there is a problem.
  2. Get help……… from the professionals if required… (including medicine)
  3. Surrender.
  4. Fight back………… use various techniques shown here.
  5. Help otheres.    
            The other part of poem “Gifted –toy (tamed monster, a buddy) is a winning song, a joyous out bust of the same person you-me, after overcoming his worries, mood swings and depression.
            This small practical booklet is the out came of my own struggle to control unhealthy emotion during my early years. Hence, it is full of all practical idea used and are being used to change the mood pattern.
            I wish the reader will cheer-up after reading the book and practicing the small ideas given therein, May God bless you.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A Gifted Toy- Feelings of sudden trap of emotions

Hi
  Here is a short poem which I have composed and which is base (title poem) of the book.
 It describes feeling of a man, who finds himself ,suddenly,trapped under heavy feelings and mood swings
 It ultimately says, if you can treat your negative feelings and mood swings as a friend ,it will become easier for you to cope with them quickly.


       A GIFTED –TOY (tame the monster inside you)
I was rushing down the road.
Singing, jumping all along in joyous mood.
On a sharp corner, fogy day and far way.
I bumped into a monster blocking my way.
I was knocked down, bleeding on the road side,
The monster was laughing loud and wide,
I lay there for days unknown,
Woke up to see the rainy afternoon.
There were rains, lightning and thunder storm,
I had to lie there, why I don’t know,

Rain stopped and rainbow sighted
Birds seen flying, singing and delighted,
There was joy in all woods around
But I was scared, looking the monster around.
Few boys came around I did not say any thing but,
They lifted me up and took me to a hut.

I met my GURUJI, whom I know as my mentor
He gave me food, medicine and shelter,
He taught me the ways and means for
How to live happily once again
“Still I am scared GURUJI,” once I screamed
“I always see monster in my dream”
“Why do you think” said Guruji “Monster blocking you”
“It is now only inside you and you only are blocking you”
“Learn the ways and art of life”
Take the inner monster in you stride”
“Make it your best friend, O my boy”
It is a blessing in disguise and A GIFTED TOY.  

Hi-well come ,all those who are bogged down by Depression

hi
  I well come you to my blog,which will teach you how to cope with depression- clinical depression.
  I will show step by step ,how to come out first ,and then to cope up.

 By the way I will introduce my self
 I am Mr. A.J.Dave, an Engineer by profession and live in Mumbai, What  I will write and narrate are all by my own experience. There is no theory all practical approach.
 In a nutshell ,If I describe the symptoms of depressions ,they are
1)loss of hope and interest
2) loss of sleep and appetite
3) loss of concentration
4)loss of energy
5) feeling of worthlessness and guilt
6) extreme anxiety
 If these symptoms persists for more than few days, be alert
 There are medicines which are required to be taken as prescribed by doctors and this blog is not a substitute for such experts /doctors advise. If prescribed ,medicine are must.
 However, it is observed that, only medicine does not give good results if not  backed up by counseling or other methods
   I will reply your questions, also if any

Out of my experience I have written a book -A Gifted Toy- which is e published by pothy.com
 wish you speedy recovery
love you all
Amit