47. Accept the consequences of
your action and built up confidence:
The other day my son was
with me, when we saw a lady close her doors, put a lock and then checks it
nearly a dozen times. Not only that, after walking a few steps she will came
back and again recheck the lock for half a dozen times.
“She do not have
confidence” my son tried to explain it to me.
“Oh, yes, may be” I
replied casually.
Later, when I tried to analyses the event I find that it is not only lack
of confidence which make you behave in such manner. Yes, it is lack of
confidence but it is one third of the story.
There are three aspects
involved in such action oriented behavior.
- Lack of confidence.
- Not ready to accept the consequences of action.
- Negative interpretation of consequences.
We are all aware of the
first past of such behavior, namely lack of confidence. This also stems out
from the fact that, it may have some past records. And that she has given the
incidence a ‘trigger’ Status. For instance, the lady in question may not be
worried about her office drawer being open or close. Because she has not thought
enough negative on that event, where as here she has given a status of trigger
by thinking in the negative way several times may be years together.
The second part is ‘not ready to accept the consequence
of action.’ If you are ready to accept what ever is out come of your action, you
are not bothered. If the lady is ready to accept the fact that her house can be
burgled if kept upon, she can remain at peace. She is not bothered by the
office drawer because he accepts the consequence of it, if it is remained open
overnight.
The third part, which is more important then the above two
is interpretation of consequence. This is the main factor which determines your
behavior. If you attach very bad feeling to your outcome of action or even
possible out come of action you are too cautious. If the lady in once example
believes that, it is a disaster to keep her house open overnight and that she
can not forgive herself for such lapses, she is extremely cautions not to make
any mistake to the extent of one in millions and in the process, she losses the
confidence. The whole vicious circle is then completed. She do not know why she
behaves this way. Infect, she wants to stop such behavior forcibly.
To solve the mystery of such behaviors – you have to
address all three aspects. Better you start addressing the third one, then
second. If you address third and second aspects mentored above, your confidence
will automatically be taken care. Be aware that, confidence does not come alone
and that too forcibly without resolving the other two parts of your personality
traits.
Accept the consequences
and built up confidence.
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