47. Accept the consequences of your action and built up confidence:
The other day my son was with me, when we saw a lady close her doors, put a lock and then checks it nearly a dozen times. Not only that, after walking a few steps she will came back and again recheck the lock for half a dozen times.
“She do not have confidence” my son tried to explain it to me.
“Oh, yes, may be” I replied casually.
Later, when I tried to analyses the event I find that it is not only lack of confidence which make you behave in such manner. Yes, it is lack of confidence but it is one third of the story.
There are three aspects involved in such action oriented behavior.
- Lack of confidence.
- Not ready to accept the consequences of action.
- Negative interpretation of consequences.
We are all aware of the first past of such behavior, namely lack of confidence. This also stems out from the fact that, it may have some past records. And that she has given the incidence a ‘trigger’ Status. For instance, the lady in question may not be worried about her office drawer being open or close. Because she has not thought enough negative on that event, where as here she has given a status of trigger by thinking in the negative way several times may be years together.
The second part is ‘not ready to accept the consequence of action.’ If you are ready to accept what ever is out come of your action, you are not bothered. If the lady is ready to accept the fact that her house can be burgled if kept upon, she can remain at peace. She is not bothered by the office drawer because he accepts the consequence of it, if it is remained open overnight.
The third part, which is more important then the above two is interpretation of consequence. This is the main factor which determines your behavior. If you attach very bad feeling to your outcome of action or even possible out come of action you are too cautious. If the lady in once example believes that, it is a disaster to keep her house open overnight and that she can not forgive herself for such lapses, she is extremely cautions not to make any mistake to the extent of one in millions and in the process, she losses the confidence. The whole vicious circle is then completed. She do not know why she behaves this way. Infect, she wants to stop such behavior forcibly.
To solve the mystery of such behaviors – you have to address all three aspects. Better you start addressing the third one, then second. If you address third and second aspects mentored above, your confidence will automatically be taken care. Be aware that, confidence does not come alone and that too forcibly without resolving the other two parts of your personality traits.
Accept the consequences and built up confidence.