40. Identify where the problem lies:
Once a young devotee came to a saint and asked “why I am not getting God realization, even after decades of hard effort?”
“Come here, to night” a plain reply come from the saint.
When the devotee came at night, there was a pitch darkness in the hut. “come in” he was instructed by the saint.
“I have lost my Tulsi necklace some where in the hut. Can you find out?” the saint asked the devotee.
“First, I will have to light up a lantern here, so that I can see” said the devotee and lighted up the lantern.
“Taking the lantern the saint immediately moved out of the hut and started searching the necklace in the backyard.
“But you have lost the necklace inside the hut. Guruji you will not find it outside” without knowing anything the devotee questioned the saint.
“My son,” said Guruji “Here is the answer. “You knew that, the light (knowledge) would be required to search the necklace (bliss) in the darkness (ignorance). However, having the light of knowledge and wisdom alone is not enough. You have to search where you have lost it.”
For those, who has frequent mood swings, it is very difficult to identify where the problem lies. If you have problem all round, if you find every one else is at fault, if you are unhappy with every one around, if each small pending work bother you, know it for sure that the problem lies within. Nothing is required to be done, outside, to improve upon the situation. This can not be solved by external change because you can not control all events and you can not change all persons around. The only thing required here is to be aware that, the problem is internal and it will go simply by acknowledging it, and surrounding to almighty and Guru.
If you get upset with someone or worried about some situation, how do you know that, this is your internal problem or a genuine problem, which require your attention and immediate action? The simple test is, to find out how do you feel in general, are you unhappy with others/ other situation equally, are you feeling angry frustrated with yourself also, how do you feel about your future in general an optimistic view or a pessimistic view. If any some of the above answer is negative, know it for sure that, the problem is internal. The idea is to know, whether you need to act right now or just prey and let the storm pass over. There are some triggers which are pressed very often, putting you in a spiral of thought, that has no answers or no feasible solution what so-ever.
Take one example, suppose you are afraid of being fired by your employer for one reason or the other, which you do not know. These are no apparent symptoms of this event to happen. Even than, if you keep on trying to find out answer to these quires, you are inviting big trouble. If you try searching for alternate job due to fear of being fired, it is your internal problem. However, if you are already fired or you are searching a better job- teen the problem is not internal. This one is a very simple example of showing your internal and external problem. However, there are some complex life problems in which you can hardly distinguish between internal and external problem. The key is to know immediately as to whether your sleep pattern and day to day routine works are also getting difficult day by day?
All problem pertaining to relationship split in close relative like spouse son or daughter one more complex than they appears. If you are unhappy with the behavior of your spouse, your behavior – may be equally unhappy. The problem here is not known whether internal or external. Both of them have, here, so strong internal problems that, the external problem appear absolutely correct to both. The external problem varies in direct proportion to your internal problem in such cases the problem multiplies, without you being aware of the nature.
The solution then, in such cases is TRUE LOVE, forgive and forgive and prayers surrender to God. You can not find any answer with logical debate on the relation split between you and your spouse. Once you apply love, forgiveness and surrender technique you can open up a friendly discussion with your spouse and reach to some amicable solution.
Again, for you to forgive a blunder made by your spouse what you need is to change the bad feeling immediately with good one. Remember a good time with year spouse and switch over it immediately.
To solve the problem, you need to know where it lies. If you are not able to find where the problem lies ask your spouse. If both of you are confused, ask your family friend or a family doctor or even professional counselors.
Find where the problem lies.