31. Know what you want and what you don’t want.
It happens sometimes, that you are not actually aware of what do you ultimately want in life. Similarly we are often not aware about the feeling that, we want to avoid at all cost. After a lot of soul searching It dawn upon me that, each incidence that bothered me had two things in common. Either I wanted to achieve certain thing or I wanted to avoid certain thing. Either I did not want certrain event to occur at all or wanted it to occur in the way I wanted it to happen.
Some of the negative feelings I strongly avoided are Guilt and worry. What I ready wanted is bliss all time and controls over the situation.(rather a feeling of control over the issue.)
Once I found out this fact, I would than test each bothering event on this scale. If I am ready to accept all that would come but not Guilt and worry, question of Guilt and worry immediately disappears. If bliss and control were two things that I wanted at any cost then why bother for some issue, spoiling my bliss and feeling of control.
Find out for yourself, which feelings, you want to avoid at all cost and which feelings you would like at any cost. Draw a line and measure every event on this scale.
It is however, not as easy as it appears. It sometimes happens that, both these things makes your decision impossible. Supposing what you want in life is money and what you want to avoid is ‘dishonesty’. Now, if you are offered a bribe for some favors, you are in deep trouble. You can not decide between ‘money’ and ‘dishonesty’.
Know it for sure, that, feeling of fear is far more stronger than feeling of joy. In such situation make choice of what you do not want at any cost. However, if I want is ‘money’ and what I do not want is ‘poverty’, I have no problem taking bribe- rather I would be glad while doing this.
It is very much necessary to decide first what you do not want at any cost and what you want at any cost. It is necessary to resolve such conflicts quickly before they spoil your mood, and make you brood over the issue day long and sometimes even days together.
Find out what you will stand for and what you will not support at any cost.