28. Don’t Compare:
It is a general tendency of a person to compare himself with the person facing him. The psychology was perhaps acquired from the ancient times of stone age when man wandered in Jungles. Whenever he faced any creature or another man he used to evaluate his potential with the other creature. In case of a dual fright this was very much necessary. Perhaps the only tool of survival was this compression and than to decide about fighting or running away form the scene.
This psychology still persists. These is, probably, no need to evaluate the opposing person when you simply face him – forget about a bout of boxing. If you are too stressed and anxious you switch in the defensive mode and try to compare each and ever person with yourself and ultimately drag yourself down emotionally.
Some people, however, do it so rigorously that, they immediately feel superior or inferior to the opposing person. If you happen to be a person who have tendency to evaluate yourself below the opposing person, you will immediately feel a negative surge. In some people, it is however, so strong that they feel that is a question of life and death to face another person. What is shyness by the way? A person who constantly feels inferior to other is termed as a shy person. However, a soft spoken person is not necessarily a shy person, on the contrary he may be quite confident. Facing a group or public speaking makes at list 99% person feel uneasy.
How do you interpret when you are on dais facing a group of people. It is evaluated as if a man-in jungle facing a group of hunter dogs in front of him. The only way is to run away and this psychology does not allow you to speak in public despite you are fully prepared to deliver the topic/presentation.
Jealousy is also a part of such comparison. If you find some one better than you in any field, you are unhappy, because you could not reach there.
Whenever you found yourself comparing yourself with some one else and feeling inferior or superior, say ‘stop’ to your self. Every time you catch yourself comparing yourself with others ask certain question to yourself. If required, write down the answer to each question.
1. Are we not both sons of God, the almighty?
2. Am I not good enough in any field?
3. Is it not that, every one has been allotted seperate jobs?
4. Is it like asking my eyes to take-up the job of ears and my ears to take-up the job of my eyes?
5. Am I ready to exchange all that I have ie job, wealth- family- health – wealth – intelligence with the opposing person? Why then compare?
You are only one and hence you can not be compared with anyone in any field.
If you analyze these questions honestly you can find out that you and anyone else is not comparable. It is like comparing two separate quantities – say volume and velocity- in science. So you are neither superior nor inferior to any one else. The ancient criteria of survival are no more applicable now. You need not fight or runway from the situation any more, and hence you need not compare.
It is quit likely that, a person who feels mood swing often is unhappy about his moods. He thinks the other person is happy and do not face such problems. Don’t be, under wrong impression. There re at least a dozen problems they are facing right now. It is quite likely that, they believe you as a happy guy.
Don’t compare......... Smile and move on.